Saturday, August 15, 2009

Dream home

Last year I had four homes - D.C., Vail, Laramie, and finally Cheyenne. I guess there were actually five if you count my parent's house, which ended up being a brief visit versus the indefinite stay I was expecting.

After all my moving around last year I resolved that 2009 would be the year of being settled. But out of the blue came Todd, my boyfriend of the last several months, and wouldn't you know it? I've decided to move again - with him.

This is all very exciting, but it's a first for me. I've never lived with a "boy," well, ever, (unless you count Tyler a couple of times) and especially not one that was of any real meaning to me (you know I love ya' T!). I just simply never got that far down that path with someone. Now, here I am doing exactly what I didn't expect to do in 2009: house hunting.

Though Todd and I have basically been living together for months now, it took me some time to be ok with a formal, combining-our-stuff-"for-real" move.

He had been asking me to make this move for a while. But for a very independent, very self-sufficient girl like myself the idea of not having control over my own space where I make all the decisions, and honestly, where I will go if for some crazy reason he and I don't work out - was scary.

But one day, a few weeks ago when my boss and I were talking about this she made a point that really resonated: Life is short. If you even think you want to do this, you should. You won't know if it will work until you try, and if it doesn't then you look for someplace else.

Actually, there were several points in there. And they were all very black and white and to the point. She made it sound so simple! I knew I wanted to do this, and surely I could do something so straightforward and easy!

But a few days later I regressed to my old ways. A gal like me doesn't just change overnight! My independent, single-girl mentality reared up and I had what I'm calling "My Last Stand." I insisted we find a new place together...a place that would be our space and not one or the other's with the other person just making some room.

He agreed and we spent lots of time considering and talking about the merits of countless homes for both rent and sale. After seeing what was out there I got fed up and told Todd I've decided his place does make the most sense. It's a good space, and we'd save lots - let me emphasize LOTS - of money each month, and I was ready for us to just be in a place together. Wait - what's that I said?? Yeah...I know. I just needed to go through a process.

Then last night at his place we started mentally moving me in. It became pretty obvious that unless you see being able to open your dresser from the bed a benefit, it was going to be pretty cramped. It would work, but certainly not comfortably, and I've got to say...after eight years of living in a studio I've found my apartment now nearly palatial. Going back to creative living would be hard to do!

So, we decided we're kind of back to square one. I have spent the entire day driving by places and talking to landlords and looking at hell holes I have no desire to "make a go of."

But maybe that's what it's all about, making a go of something. It's not about where we live, but the living together and making room for one another physically, emotionally and mentally.

I'm learning that.

But I'd still like to know if anyone knows of a cute 3-bedroom...!

1 comment:

Greg said...

Yeah, it's about all that, but it's also about finding the "right" space. Just as you wouldn't settle for just "anyone," don't make a go of just "any space." It's not like an extra month looking will make all that much difference vs. the value of being in a space where you both could thrive. You'll find the right space, just keep looking!