Sunday, March 2, 2008


This may be just a bunch of random thoughts...we'll see how it goes.

The packing and painting party may not have been the best event I've ever hosted, but it was nice to have so many people willing to help me get the last minute stuff done.

Jenn is amazing, like she should give up her day job amazing, at packing. Everyone might have brought stuff down to the U-Haul, but that girl nearly singlehandedly made it all fit, and there was some concern about that. It's like a giant puzzle that is pieced together perfectly. I could go on and on, but you just have to witness her skills yourself. Call her if you ever need to pack anything - even a suitcase.

Jess captained the painting team. My walls are now white. Weird. Jess is the artsy friend so I knew this task would be in good hands. Somehow the painters were able to stretch just one can of primer so I could get the building managers to sign off on the walls. Good work team!

Everything got done. And I want to thank everyone or helping. I truly couldn't have done it without them. I also need to thank Trish, who did a lot to help me with the stolen purse and to get things going in the morning. She took care of my U-Haul since I can't access money, and basically made sure the day got off on the right foot.

After a celebratory dinner at Stoney's I went back.

I had kept a bottle of wine out so my apartment and I could have a few minutes of alone time together before I turned in the keys.

Oh, that was hard. I sat there on my floor with a glass of red looking at my empty, white apartment and just cried.

My last eight years there paraded through my mind. My home. My life here. From all the people and events that had been in there to just my every day living. I walked through the rooms and thought about silly things, like putting on my make-up in the bathroom mirror, looking at the scuff marks on the closet wall where I had pitched so many shoes, remembering how many bottles of champagne had been popped over my kitchen sink. I stood in the breakfast nook looking at the flag on the Carnegie building down the street that I used nearly every day to tell the weather. I thought about how the light came in my "bedroom" windows in the morning, where I normally threw my keys...

It was bad.

Then I talked to a couple friends. One in particular took time out from a house party to cheer me up, which I really appreciated. Ryan said a lot of things that were spot on and by the time we got off the phone I felt like I could at least get off the floor.

I packed up the bottle of wine and went to the door.

I stood for what seemed like an eternity with my hand on the light switch. I just couldn't do it. I cried again as I looked around my poor, empty apartment.

Then my hand unintentionally flinched and the light flickered. Then quickly, like pulling off a Band-Aid, I turned it all the way off.

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